For the last two weeks, the magazine covers displayed in the grocery store checkout lines have bombarded us with tips for making all aspects of our lives productive for 2013.
From exercise advice to ten steps to bond with your pet, we all know the likelihood of keeping resolutions for the new year fades by Groundhog Day.
Since I rarely keep my resolutions, I chose to forgo the magazine covers to seek a new path while meditating over a country ham biscuit and red eye gravy at the Southern Lady Restaurant in Bowdon with local self-help guru Noah Steed.
“I decided to quit wearing blue jeans and switch to pants with drawstrings,” said Steed.
His New Year’s resolution then, I assumed, must be to find a way to fit back into his blue jeans.
“That’s too unrealistic at the present moment,” replied Steed. “It comes down to a choice. I can either move to pants with a drawstring or purchase a few pairs of those dreadful Sansabelt slacks. I’m going to do what it takes to stay in drawstrings.”
But how could someone with so much life ahead of him come to the resolution of a life-altering wardrobe change, I wondered?
“One day I realized I was utterly defenseless against my dogs’ morning kiss attacks while tying my shoes because I couldn’t tell them to stop,” said Steed. “I couldn’t sit and reach for my shoe laces and breathe at the same time.”
Fair enough, I thought, but once you switch to drawstrings, how do you carry your wallet or keys?
“I bought a fanny pack,” answered Steed. “I may be on to something because I can actually carry a flashlight and a screwdriver along with my wallet and keys. You never know when those items will come in handy.”
I’ve often wondered what age men reach when they basically decide to shed trends and fashion? If I wasn’t married, I probably wouldn’t have a T-shirt or a pair of underdrawers in my closet that didn’t have multiple holes in them. Furthermore, I probably would still be wearing my Members Only jacket and parachute pants from the early 1980s.
“I’m not sure if my switch to drawstrings will launch a new fashion statement or if GQ will send a photographer to Bowdon,” Steed pondered. “Maybe it’s time to get serious and really put my priorities in line and watch what I eat and take care of my health.”
We both set our New Year’s resolutions and committed to recording what we eat and follow the guidelines Weight Watcher’s and other organizations have outlined.
We both committed to doing what it takes to maintain a healthier lifestyle for 2013. And we both pledged to never to wear a pair of Sansabelt slacks.
“I think we can do it and I can move back into my blue jeans again,” said Steed.
“Whenever you commit to something truly is the day to start honoring the commitment.”
As I smiled with encouragement for our new path, I did the only thing I thought was appropriate for the moment. I ordered another country ham biscuit.
Garrett is a Carrollton resident and businessman. You can read more of his columns at joegarrett1.wordpress.com or contact him at email@example.com.